Oh, Gingersnap…

Let’s get it said right off the bat that I’m not your typical female. I like fast cars (thank you daddy for your classic car with the V8 Engine), playing billiards, sci fi books rated M for Manly (Dresden Files, I’m looking at you), action movies. I think 53% like a man. I took a little quiz once. It told me so. (And 60% of statistics are made up.) ((That was a made up statistic.)) Generally speaking, I’m not much of a listener. I try. I am more of a “Oh, you have a problem, here is some advice or solutions to your problem.” And really, I’m not overtly fond of shopping (weakness for boots notwithstanding.)

I really love action movies, and I own a lot of them. I also have a fairly broad definition of what an action movie is. Generally it boils down to is there a fight in it? Are there explosions? Does physics not apply? Is the plot pasted on? Then I’ll usually call it an action movie. Note: There is a huge difference between an action movie and a war movie. I’ll be reviewing action movies such as, The Expendables, not war movies like Black Hawk Down. (Yes, the Lego Movie will count as an action movie.)

You’d think it’d be fairly simple to know which action movie to go and see at the theater. And then you read the reviews. Where your typical action movie is trashed because it isn’t a Oscar bait dramatic, overly pretentious, piece of ‘art.’ However, movie reviewers in my experience insist on trying to compare your standard B Class action movie to things like Gravity. This, ladies and gentlemen, is what we call comparing apples and oranges.

And it drives me crazy.

You can’t compare action movies to Oscar nominees! They may be the same medium. However, they are two very different categories of films with two very different purposes. Just because they are both film and under the category of ‘entertainment’ does not mean they are meant to entertain in the same way. (Yes, I have strong opinions on this subject, can you tell?)

It is time to separate drama from action and review an action movie solely as what it is supposed to be, an action movie. So here, in this blog, I shall not compare action movies to dramas or war movies. I shall compare action movies to action movies and treat them as the mind numbing popcorn fare that they are!

So, I propose a simple five Gingersnap rating system that takes into account hopefully what the audience is looking for when they go to see an action movie.

Are the fights entertaining? (If yes, one gingersnap.)

Is there one or more gratuitous explosion? (If yes, one gingersnap.)

Does the woman (if she exists) do anything that makes her important and gets her involved in the plot that isn’t completely dependent on the man? (If yes, one gingersnap.)

Then there is the world building gingersnap, where I will take into account physics and the laws of the action movie universe. If the world building is illogical, contradicts itself or reverses for plot purposes, parts of this gingersnap may be eaten.

And lastly there is the plot gingersnap, where I take into account the story, the dialogue and the characters. If they are poorly constructed, all around boring or with bad pacing or just don’t make sense, parts of this gingersnap may be eaten!

I will try to choose one day of the week to sit down, watch and rate an action movie. If you have any suggestions for additional gingersnaps or have any questions about the current gingersnaps or even have a movie you want rated, feel free to comment. (This system is a work in progress and subject to change.)

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