It doesn’t always go smooth

I’ve been typing up the sequel, Dawn Princess, to the book I hope to publish in March, Dawn Warrior. I knew going into writing this sequel that it was going to be more difficult than Dawn Warrior given where I’d left Dawn Warrior off. And while writing the sequel long hand I’d gotten to a portion of the plot where it felt safe to pause and figure out where I was going next. This gave me some time to type up what I’d already written. Along with everything else I feel I’m juggling lately.

To be honest, I have not been in the best of mindsets. There’s been a lot of emotions going through my head (and my head isn’t happy with it to say the least) and while I want to say that it is getting better there is always that niggling uncertainty and doubt. If I’m not doing anything and I feel halfway able to do something, my own guilty conscience lashes at me for being lazy. That I should be doing something to further my career or goals or what have you. Basically, I have a very difficult time relaxing, even when I’m not feeling well.

Long story super short, yesterday culminated a bunch of frustration and depression and I was grumpy and not feeling good about my writing whatsoever.

Now, when I’m frustrated and depressed and grumpy I’m not honestly the most objective person in the room. Writers can be their hardest critics. I’m no exception. And it really wasn’t helped that Becca was reading one my old drawer novels that helped me realize that yes, I can write a novel. As far as drawer novels go, I also felt that the one she was reading had a tight/decent plot. And I wished the novel I was working on had as tight and decent of a plot as that one. (Like I said, super grumpy.)

I did mention this to her and she was like, “You’re right. I do feel it is dragging because you resolved Conflict Evil Dragon. I just wasn’t sure how to say this and was waiting for more of the story to see what you did with it.”

And I was like “Well, damn, this is one of those 50% of the times when I’m grumpy and depressed about my own writing and I’m actually correct that it’s not as good as it should be.” So, we batted back and forth with the resolution of “Crank out the first draft, see what we like and then cut the rest.”

Times like this is when I’m really grateful to have Becca as my support group. I may be struggling. She’s honest with me that, “yes, the story/plot/conflict isn’t there yet. You can fix it. I know you can.” And solutions are proposed and I end up feeling better about my writing overall.

As writers, we’re all going to struggle sometimes. We may not even have to be grumpy, frustrated and depressed to struggle. Sometimes our struggle with our writing may lead to those emotions. But, it’s okay. Because we can fix it. We can find a solution even if that means binning the entire first half or cutting out large portions of baby dragon cuteness. If you’re struggling with your writing right now, you are not alone. We’re all here with you. You can get through it.

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